I hate getting shit done at the most inopportune moments. Why couldn't I have been fucking productive this morning, has to be 4am and then I get the privilege to be tired as balls tomorrow or today because its today and I need to be back up functioning in 4 hours (5 hours unless you count being on the train as functioning because I routinely take up two seats and sleep the whole ride away). Multi-day train rides in China will teach you how to sleep anywhere.

INTRO

What does everyone care about? I personally don't care about much of anything, I am also a shitty human being. I have come this far being a bad person, no reason to think I can't go further doing exactly what I am doing. Logic seems sound there, I will even go as far to say that it is rock solid. Shittiest part about being myself is that I have the ability / opportunity to mold myself into whoever the fuck I want to be. I want to be a CFA I could probably do it, I want to direct a movie I could probably do it, I want to be nice to everyone all the time? Ge the fuck out of here. So instead of doing all the good in the world, I drink like a fish, chew endless amounts of tobacco, dabble in other questionably legal substances, and barely ever speak to my mother, father or any of my 4 younger siblings. Why would you read my shit? Probably because you just need someone to make you feel better about your life (thats actually the only guess I have). If you had found someone who could do that then you probably wouldn't be here, and I wouldn't be writing because there'd be someone elses misery to drown in other than my own. My girlfriend (my mother, doctor, brother, father cousin are all in cahoots fucking me over each and every day asking how I feel and shit) says I need an outlet to vent. Well, thankfully this is fairly anonomous and I get to say and do whatever I please. Can't actually do anything but I can sure as shit write whatever I want.